Brick Lane by Monica Ali

2/10

I read this book 3 years ago for my Contemporary British Literature class, and all I can say is, "Bo-ring." I mean, look at the book cover. That says it all.

This was not a very fun book to read. It is about this Bangladeshi lady who married this guy twice her age by way of an arranged marriage and moves to England and has to figure out how to adjust to this new culture and way of life. Just not my cup o' tea. I didn't totally hate this book, but I certainly didn't like it. Although, I did hate the way, way excessive amount of way, way long letters that her sister would write her in way, way crappy English. I am assuming her sister didn't write the letters in English, so why are we translating them into crappy English? Just translate it normal. Seriously. You can't expect me to enjoy reading page after page after page of herky-jerky, unintelligible English.

Quote:

"Work in itself, performed with a desire for perfection, was capable of giving satisfaction."

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

8/10

I just finished this on Thanksgiving. I started it a month before school started, thinking I could read 900 pages in one month. Turns out I bit off more than I could chew and fell about 220 pages short. So I have been chipping away at it, here a little, there a little. I did such on weekends. Not the scenario I desired from the outset, but oh well.

When I started this book, I was super nervous because it was written in 1605 (the probability of an entertaining book written in this era was slim, even its critical acclaim wasn't enough to ease my nerves) and I have a tendency to power through to the end of all books that I read whether I like them or not (and this one was long, so if it was bad, it would be bad for a long time). But alas, I absolutely loved it and my worries subsided. It is hilarious. That's right, hilarious. If you are like me, then you probably thought that humor hadn't been invented yet in 1605. But apparently it had (or Cervantes invented it perhaps).

Due to the needlessly long intro and the large amount of quotes I want to share, I will be brief with the plot breakdown. It is about this 50 year old guy who obsesses over books about knights and knight-errantry. So much so that he decides to "go forth on a sally" and become a knight. Oh man, it is so funny, especially at first. He throws together this pathetic outfit, hops on his miserable "steed" and goes out looking for adventure. He always mistakes his surroundings for situations that require his services. Thus, he is frequently found attacking innocent traveling parties misconstruing a female passenger as a damsel in distress. He commonly thinks that common inns are castles and that everyone is serving as a welcoming party and that he is a big-shot, famous knight. He always get massively beat up in each altercation, or "cudgelled." But he always blames it on enchanters who have it out for him.

Also, he eventually gets this guy, Sancho Panza, to serve as his squire, promising him an island for his services. They are the funniest duo ever. They remind me of Balki and Larry from Perfect Strangers (yeah, I just dropped a Perfect Strangers reference). Or, as the editor who wrote an intro to the book, Abbott and Costello.

Much more hilarity occurs. People always recognize Don Quixote's madness but marvel about how smart he is in all other areas that don't have to do with knight-errantry. He has let this little distraction consume his life and it overwhelms all his other attributes.

Also, he performs all his service to glorify his lady Dulcinea. She is some random villager that he designates as Dulcinea even though she has no idea about this and they have never even met. Also, there is a CD titled Dulcinea by Toad the Wet Sprocket and it is very, very good.

How was that for a "brief breakdown"?

To the Quotes!:

"Self-commendation is in effect self-condemnation."

"He was firmly persuaded, that Camila, who yielded so easily to addresses, had acted in the same manner, to some other person: for, this additional misfortune attends a loose woman, that she loses her credit even with the man by whose importunities and entreaties her honour was subdued."

"Diligence is the mother of good luck."

"Virtue is always more persecuted by the wicked than beloved by the righteous."

Classic scathing insult from Don Quixote: "It is your skull that is unfurnished and shrunken; but, mine is more pregnant than the abominable whore that brought you forth." Ha ha.

"Despondence under misfortune consumes the constitution."

"Hunger is the best sauce, and as that is never wanting among the poor, they always relish what they eat."

"Truth may bend, but will never break, and always surmounts falsehood."

"Learning without virtue is no better than pearls on a dung-hill."

"He preaches well who lives well."

"A slovenly dress denotes a disorderly mind."

"Industry is the mother of prosperity; and Laziness, her opposite, never saw the fulfillment of a desire."

"Be not angry, and give thyself no concern about what thou mayest hear, otherwise there will be no end of thy vexation: console thyself with a good conscience, and let them say what they will; for, it is as impracticable to tie up the tongue of malice, as to erect barricades in the open fields."

"From objects of obscenity and turpitude, not only the eyes but even the imagination ought to be kept sacred."

"The beginning of health is the knowledge of the disease, as well as the patient's desire to comply with the physician's prescription. You are now in the diseased condition, aware of your infirmity, and heaven, or rather God himself, who is the great physician, will apply those medicines which are proper for the cure of your distemper; but, these remedies are wont to operate slowly, not in a sudden miraculous manner. And intelligent sinners are much more likely to recover, than delinquents of little understanding."

"Tell me what I shall do to be extremely beautiful?" "Be extremely virtuous."

"Between Said and Done, a long race may be run."

Done.