Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger

5/10

I read this book a few weeks ago during my spring break. As a big fan of Salinger's "Catcher in the Rye," I was quite excited to read this, all the while realizing that it will likely not meet the awesomeness of "Catcher in the Rye." With that said, I was a bit disappointed in it overall. It was written very well and I expected no less. I just didn't enjoy the characters pretty much.

It starts with Franny meeting her boyfriend and they are at a restaurant and they just fight the whole time because Franny is starting to get very annoyed with all the scholarly types because they think that they are so smart and superior. This is something that I can sort of relate to except she gripes about it in such a way that makes it look like she herself feels way superior and smarter than everyone else. Apparently she read some book about a guy who wants to learn to pray constantly in his heart so he repeats this prayer over and over until eventually it becomes a part of him like a heartbeat. So Franny starts to do that too and it makes her judgmental of everybody. She ends up having a massive breakdown. Plus, her boyfriend is a punk.

Then the story shifts to Zooey (pronounced Zoe?) who is Franny's brother. He is sitting in a tub, his mom comes in and he treats her all crappy and rips on her all the time. Then Zooey goes and talks with Franny (who has come back home all psycho) and tries to help her stop being a whack job. This part of the book was a bit better, it is just Zooey going off on her (not trying to be rude but he isn't really helping). Finally he leaves, goes upstairs and into his older brother's room and calls Franny on the phone from the upstairs phone pretending to be his brother. This was the best part of the book. Eventually she finds out it is Zooey and then she actually opens up, they have a heart to heart, and gets her to have a proper perspective.

The end. As I said, I didn't love it but it was alright I suppose.

Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf

3/10

This was the book I chose to read during Christmas break. I finished it up out in Utah. I chose it because, a) I wanted to read a Virginia Woolf book before declaring a boycott on all of her books; and b) It seemed the proper length of book to finish in time for when school started again. After making this decision on these unreasonable grounds, I less than anxiously began. When the first line began thus, "Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself," I think I let out an audible, "Oh boy."

In honor of Virginia Woolf (a.k.a. "the semi-colon queen"), I will write this whole paragraph with semicolons instead of periods: The whole book, all 296 pages, covers one day (with random flashbacks); the story will change from one character to another without much hint that it does so; the characters are rarely introduced; instead, they are thrown in there and you have to slowly learn about them as the story progresses; while I typically enjoy reading stories that go deep into a character's thought processes and their methods of analyzing other's behavior, it is less enjoyable when the characters are so serious, not funny and dramatic about everything; I wish one of the characters was likable, not that they were unlikable, just not likable; the whole book was about Mrs. Dalloway getting flowers, how she was in love with this other guy before they got married and he still loves her but they were not right for each other, and there is a boring party at the end; I had to constantly force myself to pay attention while I read; while I did not love this book, I will give credit where credit is due - Woolf did have a pretty snazzy grasp of the English language and crafted some nifty sentences; but, alas, it was not enough to save the boring subject matter, for, style over substance has never been my cup o' tea; and I refuse to say I liked it just because it is "critically acclaimed."

It's true, she did bust out long sentences with infinity semi-colons. I get the whole semi-colon concept and all, but I am of the position that it should be used sparingly. There is a time and place, Virginia.

I also came to the sudden realization that I should have invoked some kind of star system to rate the books I've read. But I haven't. Is it too late? Do I go back and put in a star rating for each book? What a dilemma. But, doing a star system might lead to my ultimate demise because I would constantly second guess my rating in comparison with other ratings of books that are extremely difficult to compare. In conclusion, I will not do it I say. But if I did, I would probably give this book like 3 out of ten or something. Maybe 3.2.

Quotes:

"Communication is health; communication is happiness." Ha! There's that semi-colon...

"It is a thousand pities never to say what one feels."

The Call of the Wild by Jack London

8/10

This is a short little story, a "novella" if you will. I know I will. I just finished this over my Christmas break. I read the first little chapter in Utah and then the rest in the Salt Lake airport/airplane from Salt Lake to Denver/Denver airport/airplane from Denver to Columbus. I liked being able to cross the United States in a matter of hours while reading about grueling Yukon klondike treks that took months to complete. Technology!

You may very well know the story, but I will continue nevertheless. The story is about this dog named Buck and most of the narrative is through Buck's perspective. At first I was a little hesitant to fully commit to reading about the thought processes of a dog. Then I remembered that it was The Call of the Wild and how else would it be told? By random iditarod sledders? Nay. Buck was in a much better position to analyze his own experiences and survival methods. Plus, I loved this opening line: "Buck did not read the newspapers." Ha ha. Anyway, back to the story. Buck is wrenched from his cozy, civilized, domesticated life and sold to Alaskans for some sled-pulling. He pretty much dominates. There is some triumph, some brutal hardships, and other various sad moments. But Buck finds his calling in the end. The call of the wild that is.

I think I enjoyed this book because I have always been a fan of slavery stories. Let me be clear: Not a fan of slavery, but of slavery stories: the Underground Railroad, Roots, Harriet Jacobs, Uncle Tom's Cabin was entertaining, etc. This had that kind of feel to it. Buck stolen, forced into labor, pushed beyond reasonable limits, and eventually free in a new place but he makes it his own. P.S. I hope it's not insensitive to make such a comparison. Sometimes my "sensitve meter" doesn't function properly.

Also, Jack London is a great writer. Really enjoyed his style. How cool is this oft repeated phrase: "The toil of trace and trail." Answer: really cool.

Brick Lane by Monica Ali

2/10

I read this book 3 years ago for my Contemporary British Literature class, and all I can say is, "Bo-ring." I mean, look at the book cover. That says it all.

This was not a very fun book to read. It is about this Bangladeshi lady who married this guy twice her age by way of an arranged marriage and moves to England and has to figure out how to adjust to this new culture and way of life. Just not my cup o' tea. I didn't totally hate this book, but I certainly didn't like it. Although, I did hate the way, way excessive amount of way, way long letters that her sister would write her in way, way crappy English. I am assuming her sister didn't write the letters in English, so why are we translating them into crappy English? Just translate it normal. Seriously. You can't expect me to enjoy reading page after page after page of herky-jerky, unintelligible English.

Quote:

"Work in itself, performed with a desire for perfection, was capable of giving satisfaction."

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

8/10

I just finished this on Thanksgiving. I started it a month before school started, thinking I could read 900 pages in one month. Turns out I bit off more than I could chew and fell about 220 pages short. So I have been chipping away at it, here a little, there a little. I did such on weekends. Not the scenario I desired from the outset, but oh well.

When I started this book, I was super nervous because it was written in 1605 (the probability of an entertaining book written in this era was slim, even its critical acclaim wasn't enough to ease my nerves) and I have a tendency to power through to the end of all books that I read whether I like them or not (and this one was long, so if it was bad, it would be bad for a long time). But alas, I absolutely loved it and my worries subsided. It is hilarious. That's right, hilarious. If you are like me, then you probably thought that humor hadn't been invented yet in 1605. But apparently it had (or Cervantes invented it perhaps).

Due to the needlessly long intro and the large amount of quotes I want to share, I will be brief with the plot breakdown. It is about this 50 year old guy who obsesses over books about knights and knight-errantry. So much so that he decides to "go forth on a sally" and become a knight. Oh man, it is so funny, especially at first. He throws together this pathetic outfit, hops on his miserable "steed" and goes out looking for adventure. He always mistakes his surroundings for situations that require his services. Thus, he is frequently found attacking innocent traveling parties misconstruing a female passenger as a damsel in distress. He commonly thinks that common inns are castles and that everyone is serving as a welcoming party and that he is a big-shot, famous knight. He always get massively beat up in each altercation, or "cudgelled." But he always blames it on enchanters who have it out for him.

Also, he eventually gets this guy, Sancho Panza, to serve as his squire, promising him an island for his services. They are the funniest duo ever. They remind me of Balki and Larry from Perfect Strangers (yeah, I just dropped a Perfect Strangers reference). Or, as the editor who wrote an intro to the book, Abbott and Costello.

Much more hilarity occurs. People always recognize Don Quixote's madness but marvel about how smart he is in all other areas that don't have to do with knight-errantry. He has let this little distraction consume his life and it overwhelms all his other attributes.

Also, he performs all his service to glorify his lady Dulcinea. She is some random villager that he designates as Dulcinea even though she has no idea about this and they have never even met. Also, there is a CD titled Dulcinea by Toad the Wet Sprocket and it is very, very good.

How was that for a "brief breakdown"?

To the Quotes!:

"Self-commendation is in effect self-condemnation."

"He was firmly persuaded, that Camila, who yielded so easily to addresses, had acted in the same manner, to some other person: for, this additional misfortune attends a loose woman, that she loses her credit even with the man by whose importunities and entreaties her honour was subdued."

"Diligence is the mother of good luck."

"Virtue is always more persecuted by the wicked than beloved by the righteous."

Classic scathing insult from Don Quixote: "It is your skull that is unfurnished and shrunken; but, mine is more pregnant than the abominable whore that brought you forth." Ha ha.

"Despondence under misfortune consumes the constitution."

"Hunger is the best sauce, and as that is never wanting among the poor, they always relish what they eat."

"Truth may bend, but will never break, and always surmounts falsehood."

"Learning without virtue is no better than pearls on a dung-hill."

"He preaches well who lives well."

"A slovenly dress denotes a disorderly mind."

"Industry is the mother of prosperity; and Laziness, her opposite, never saw the fulfillment of a desire."

"Be not angry, and give thyself no concern about what thou mayest hear, otherwise there will be no end of thy vexation: console thyself with a good conscience, and let them say what they will; for, it is as impracticable to tie up the tongue of malice, as to erect barricades in the open fields."

"From objects of obscenity and turpitude, not only the eyes but even the imagination ought to be kept sacred."

"The beginning of health is the knowledge of the disease, as well as the patient's desire to comply with the physician's prescription. You are now in the diseased condition, aware of your infirmity, and heaven, or rather God himself, who is the great physician, will apply those medicines which are proper for the cure of your distemper; but, these remedies are wont to operate slowly, not in a sudden miraculous manner. And intelligent sinners are much more likely to recover, than delinquents of little understanding."

"Tell me what I shall do to be extremely beautiful?" "Be extremely virtuous."

"Between Said and Done, a long race may be run."

Done.

The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton

9/10

A rare during school-session post.

I read this book in the summer of '04. But not at the Five and Dime. Because that would be weird. But, this actually was the very first book that I read upon my return from the mish. And it was a wise choice. Probably because I was still so close to the Spirit and correct choices flowed forth during this glorious period.

It is based on an actual robbery that occurred in 1855 in England. Most of the book is this Pierce fellow planning this robbery and mastering the timing of all the elements of the robbery and ironing out all the intricate details to pull it off. It is very Ocean's 11. But instead of 11 guys there are only 5 members of the crew I think. So Pierce's 5 then.

There are several fantastic moments in the book. One of my favorites is when Pierce recruits "Clean Willy," yes, Clean Willy, and helps him escape from a very secure prison. It is epic. And then of course the happenings on the day of the robbery. Many unexpected occurrences lead to on-the-fly alterations and last-minute problem solving. I will not specify how it all goes down, but there is more than one plot twist, that much you can bank on.

Plus, this was written in 1975 and one of Crichton's earliest novels. So it was fun to read a book he wrote before he got all big time and all.

I place my stamp of approval accordingly.

An Approach to the Book of Mormon by Hugh Nibley

8/10

I forewarn that this is going to be a long one.

I read this book about 7 years ago. It was, apparently, originally designed for a Book of Mormon course that Nibley taught. It is pretty solid scholarly stuff. There are those silly people out there who love to fight against the LDS church and the Book of Mormon. These people always think that Mormons don't know any of their doctrine or anything about their church (why else would they belong to it? We are just brainwashed to believe what our parents forced upon us, etc.) and that the "evidence" against the Book of Mormon far outweighs its support. What they don't realize is that we do know our doctrine and we think that anyone who sincerely reads the Book of Mormon (not, as Neal A. Maxwell puts it, "scanning while doubting" which leads only to "flippant conclusions") will also come to know the truth of the book and that there is no way that a young boy could have written such an inspired record.

Anyway, much of Nibley's works (not just this) are for the purpose of showing that there are some physical "proofs" to Mormon doctrine and that we don't just sit around on our hands and blindly believe. Or, as Nibley puts it in the book's Forward: "False arguments which in the past have prospered against [the Book of Mormon] are shattered by the material of this course." Unfortunately, I bet about .00000001% of those silly people who fight against the church that were referenced in the above paragraph have actually read this book or anything similar. They just stick to their own slanted anti books and, ironically, blindly accept those as fact. The person trying to disprove something has "the burden of proof" as it were, and, therefore, should be the person disproving "proofs" from books such as Nibley's.

Nibley talks about many things, some of my favorites are:

(1) A breakdown of the names of Lehi's 6 boys. The first two are Arabic names given during a time of Lehi's involvement in the Arabian caravan trade, the next two were given Egyptian names during a time of his prosperity, and the last two are given the humble names of Jacob and Joseph during the tribulations in which they were born. "[I]t was certainly the custom of Lehi's people to name their children with a purpose";

(2) Quoting some random (non-Mormon) scholar who wrote that way back in the day (which also happens to be Lehi's era) the Bedouin people would follow this rule: "any water you may discover, either in your own or in the territory of another tribe, is named after you." This evidence is seen taking place in the Book of Mormon;

(3) Bringing up the old and over-used argument where the Book of Mormon prophesies that Christ will be born in "the land of Jerusalem" when he was born in Bethlehem and pointing out that even Socrates, Sophocles, and Euripides were all Athenian citizens and described themselves as men of Athens even though they were born miles from the actual city. The "land of Jerusalem" is different from the "city of Jerusalem." In fact, "the Book of Mormon refers to the city of Jerusalem plainly and unmistakably over sixty times, it refers over forty times to another and entirely different geographical entity which is always designated as 'the land of Jerusalem.'...The land of Jerusalem is not the city of Jerusalem.";

(4) Pointing out that "the slaying of Laban is no more reprehensible than the beheading of the unconscious Goliath" from the Bible;

(5) Citing this (non-Mormon) archeologist guy who wrote back in 1916 that "in the Babylonian army a platoon contained fifty men" and that it was called a "fifty." This correlates with the incident in the Book of Mormon where Nephi references "Laban and his fifty.";

(6) Showing that the Dead Sea Scrolls are full of Christian terminology and saying that "the one effective argument against the Book of Mormon (i.e., that it introduces New Testament ideas and terminology into a pre-Christian setting) collapses."

(7) Citing another old historian's finding that the early Hebrews "never used the classic hunting weapons of their neighbors, the sword, lance, javelin, and club." This correlates with Nephi's statement that the hunting weapons he used were "bows...arrows...stones, and...slings." That same historian "found that those were indeed the hunting weapons of the early Hebrews."

(8) Further, he points out that according to ancient Arab writers, the only bow-wood obtainable in all Arabia was the nab wood that grew only at Mount Jasum and Mount Azd, which are situated in the very region where the broken bow incident in the Book of Mormon likely occurred.

(9) Pointing out that it is crucial that the language of the Book of Mormon indicates that Lehi's party traveled down the eastern shore of the red sea because, as was discovered only in 1930 (before Joseph Smith's time) this led to "the one place where [they] could find...the materials necessary to prepare for [the] long sea voyage." I like his concluding statement on the matter: "In Nephi's picture of the desert everything checks perfectly. There is not one single slip amid a wealth of detail, the more significant because it is so casually conveyed."

(10) Citing a 1924 historian's finding that Egyptians always referred to bodies of water that don't dry up as "fountains." The Book of Mormon has this language: "the fountain of the Red Sea." If a person were making this book up, they certainly wouldn't call the Red Sea a fountain, but this finding shows another incident that only goes to further verify the Book of Mormon's validity.

(11) Pointing out the formation of Book of Mormon names and the correlation of names from those times and places. E.g. Mor-, Mr- as combinations that are also found in Egyptian names; that "mimation" (names ending with -m) predominated in Jaredite names and that "nunation" (names ending with -n) predominated in Nephite and Lamanite names and showing that mimation was prevalent around 2000 B.C. (the time of the Jaredites) and that nunation succeeded mimation by the time of the Nephites; showing that -iah and -ihah names were very prevalent in Palestinian names of Lehi's time but not so in other times; showing that ancient Semites of the desert would give "pendant names," to their children, i.e. Laman and Lemuel. Coincidence? I think not.

(12) Showing that "men who knew far more about the Hebrew language, customs, and symbols than any modern seminarist ever can, insisted that Ezekiel's 'woods' were writing-tablets or books."

(13) Quoting an early Christian named Origen: "The Ocean is not to be crossed by men, but those worlds which lie on the other side of it are governed by the same ordinances of a guiding and directing God as these." True. Don't see why that is so hard to believe and accept.

(14) Showing that "In Ether the reign and exploits of King Lib exactly parallel the doings of the first kings of Egypt (entirely unknown, of course, in the time of Joseph Smith) even in the oddest particulars."

(15) Citing historian's findings that old Indian and Chinese traditions speak of a wonderful stone that shines in the dark and that "the most celebrated of all its many miraculous powers being a strange capacity for enabling its possessor to pass unharmed through the depths of the waters." Striking correlation with the Jaredite history.

(16) Lots of quotes from Justin Martyr and stating that "[h]is most serious charge against the doctors is, indeed, that they no longer have prophets among them." Strange how inconceivable it is for everyone else to understand the need for prophets, since that is how God always works.

(17) Pointing out that "[p]eople underestimate the capacity of things to disappear, and do not realize that the ancients almost never built of stone. Many a great civilization which has left a notable mark in history and literature has left behind not a single recognizable trace of itself. We must stop looking for the wrong things." Then stating: "An official list of Roman castles from the time of Justinian enumerates 500 imperial strongholds and gives their locations; yet while the stone temples and amphi-theatres built at the same time and places still stand, not a scrap of any of those castles is to be found." Later: "Like the Nephites, the ancients in general built of wood whenever they could."

(18) Quoting an old scholars finding that all apocalyptic writers have revelation in common: 'Christ, who was always from the beginning, has visited the righteous of every generation.'

And now for a few select quotes:

Pointing out the significant timing of the Book of Mormon, "for none knew at the time of its appearance that the saints of the new dispensation would soon be continuing that great tradition of tribulation and triumph in the wilderness. The Book of Mormon was the best preparation and training manual for what was to come."

"In every age the inspired prophets have put down their knowledge in books."

"To produce the Book of Mormon would have required far more than luck and learning of any man."

"Ether was as wholly out of their world as it was removed from the whole world of contemporary science and scholarship, both biblical and profane. So let us have no more nonsense about a perfectly ordinary book that any reasonably clever Yankee could have written."

Citing the brother of Jared story: "Instead of giving him a light on the spot, or at least telling him how to make one, the Lord left it all up to the Jaredites: 'What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?' If Joseph Smith had written the Book of Mormon, this would have been a stroke of pure genius."

"Hasty pronouncements are typical of much Book of Mormon criticism, building impetuous conclusions on first impressions and never bothering to find out what the Book of Mormon says actually happened."

"The retention of tribal identity throughout the Book of Mormon is a typically desert trait and a remarkably authentic touch."

That's a wrap! Thanks to those who had the stamina and courage to stick with this post to the end.