How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

7/10

I read this close to ten years ago. And yet, I have very few friends and have influenced even fewer. So I must be doing it wrong. But the book is pretty good. It has lots and lots of good quotes and ideas. And should probably be read by everybody.

Here are the listed Principles discussed in this book:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn or complain
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Six Ways to Make People Like You
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
Principle 2: Smile
Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves
Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely

Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
Principle 2: Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong"
Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way
Principle 5: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view
Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives
Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas
Principle 12: Throw down a challenge

Be a Leader
Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation
Principle 2: Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
Principle 5: Let the other person save face
Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"
Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

So now go out there and win some friends and also influence some individuals as well while you're at it.

And now here are also a few good quotes:

"The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition."

"[Y]ou can make more friends in two months by becoming generally interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

"Most people don't remember names, for the simple reason that they don't take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for themselves; they are too busy."

"You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it."

"The way to develop self-confidence... is to do the thing you fear to do and get a record of successful experiences behind you."

P.S. I am leaving on holiday and so this will be my final post of the year. Check back with me for another post on the second Sunday of 2016. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!